The Good....The Bad...And The Ugly

The results are in and it's a mixed bag.  The most important to me was the reading of the PET scan and I was not disappointed.  The tumor involvement is definitely less than the last scan.  If I had to put a percentage on it I would say the liver is 50% compromised. That is still a big number but compared to 80%-90% at the beginning, I am very happy with the results after only 4 treatments.  My tumor marker is down another 100 points to 614 so that is also good news.  All my other numbers are about the same as the last lab work with the exception of two important numbers.  Unfortunately these two numbers have caused the Doctor to suspend my treatment for 1 week.  He really wants to add the drug Avastin to my treatment regimen, but I have to have the right numbers because of the potency of this drug.  My platelet count is still too low and my bilirubin (which is a liver function marker) is too high.  The Doctor feels another week off of the chemo meds should get these numbers back on track.  As I've said in past posts, "the only thing that will stop my treatment is my own body".  Well, it has happened and I have to say I'm disappointed.  I really psych myself up for the treatment because I know what's in store.  So when I was told I have to wait a week I felt discouraged, I didn't want my treatment to stop.  Now that I've had some time to think about it I feel a little better.  I do get one more week off and I should be able to do some things while I feel good physically.  I also know that the Lord is guiding me and my medical team and if this is his will I'll take it and make the best of it.  I go back for tests next Thursday and if the numbers are good round 5 starts Friday. Keep praying!

Time for more tests

I've been lucky for the past couple weeks with very few hospital visits for testing.  This week I am making up the difference.  I was there yesterday for about 3 hours for a PET scan.  I think I've explained this before but for those who don't remember, this is a imaging procedure that first involves injecting me with a radioactive substance.  I then have to lay still for 1 hour while it circulates throughout my system.  Now I'm ready for the scan which takes about 30 minutes in the "tube".  The radioactive solution adheres to the tumors and lights up brightly on the film if the tumor is active.  The less the brightness, the less the tumor is living or growing.
I have an appointment Wednesday with the Oncologist.  During this appointment I will have blood drawn for the standard lab work.  We will be looking very closely at the platelet count.  If my platelet count is high enough we will discuss adding a new drug to my next Chemo treatment.  We will also review the  results of the PET scan and see if the treatment I am currently on is working to kill off the tumors.
If all goes well at my Wednesday appointment , I will start round 5 of Chemo on Thursday.  I will update the results of each test as I get them.  Thanks for all the support and the comments, I love reading them.  Keep praying!!

Just what the Doctor ordered

Matt, Allison and the girls are on their way back to Maryland but not before they gave me a weekend to remember.  I told you about Sammy's great game and the Friday night sleep over with the girls.  Well that was just the start of a wonderful weekend.  Saturday started with both girls waking me up with a kiss and a hug (have a bad day after that, not going to happen).  We had a fun day playing and then got ready for dinner with the family.  Vic, Matt, Allison, Sammy, Ali, Lillian, Caroline and myself all enjoyed a great meal together.  After dinner Vic and I took the girls for ice cream and then got them home to bed.  Matt, Allison, Sammy and Ali went out for an after dinner drink.  I was very happy they were able to spend some fun time together since it rarely happens when the kids are all home.  Sunday morning I was once again greeted by the girls and we played and watched cartoons.  We had agreed the night before that we would go out for breakfast with everyone including Nana and Grand Pa Duesing, which we did and we all enjoyed ourselves immensely. After breakfast the girls got what they had been waiting for, a chance to go sledding and building a snowman.  WOW, what a weekend!  I've talked about the importance of family and spending time with your family when you can.  This was the best medicine I could ever get.  It makes me realize what the fight is really for.  God continues to give me time to do these things, they are not earth shattering events but, he knows what I need.  He knows what we all need, don't miss out on what he has for you.  Keep Praying and thinking good thoughts.

FYI- I have a PET scan scheduled for 8am tomorrow.  This scan will show what is happening to the tumors in my body.  They show bright if they are active and darker as they die off.  We will have the results on Wednesday and I will let you know.

A day to remember

How's this for a special day.  This morning when I woke up I felt pretty good both mentally and physically.(probably carryover from last night) I looked outside, saw the snow and felt that I was feeling good enough to tackle some snow removal from the driveway.  I bundled up, took my time and finished with no problems, other than trying to figure out a way to tell Vic I did it after she specifically told me I was not allowed to do it.  My plan was to use the best part of my day to distract Vic from yelling at me.  That's right, the grand daughters came over in the afternoon and they are spending the night.  When Vic got home from work the girls ran into her arms and I confessed.  All she said to me was, "Are you feeling ok?"  I said yes and she just hugged the girls.  We have been busy.  We went outside and played in the snow, had a snowball fight and Lillian and I took a walk around the yard looking for animal tracks.  Dinner was their favorite consisting of chicken strips, french fries and ranch dressing.  We played for awhile and then the girls took a bath and played in the tub.  After pajamas were put on, it became time to cuddle up with Papa.  Caroline has been a little under the weather with an ear infection so she was the first to go down.  Lillian moved between Nana and Papa and eventually got tired enough to go to bed.  The girls were tucked in their princess bed, Lillian said her prayers and asked God to help Papa feel better.  She then kicked me out of the room and asked Nana to read her a story.  They are both sound asleep now.  If someone says they can tell me a better way to spend a day, I would have to call them a liar.  It doesn't get any better!! 

Oh what a night !!

Wow, I could not have asked for a better night.  Sammy's last basketball game of his college career, senior night and a surprise visit by Matt, Allison and the girls.  I could not be more proud of my family.  As I said in my last post, this night was something I was looking forward to being able to attend. I think I got more than I expected.  Before the game Vic and I were asked to walk Sam out on the court in order to honor his accomplishments, which we did.  Over 100 games played, scoring average, rebounds etc. but the one that I was proudest of was the fact that he was Academic All Conference every year he was there.  Just prior to walking out on the court, Sam asked if we could say a prayer.  We thanked God for all he had done to help Sam while he played.  We thanked God for allowing me to be able to attend this night and we asked for his  help and guidance for Sam during this game.  Well, the power of prayer strikes again.  Sammy had the best game I had ever seen him play.  He led the team in scoring, played shut down defense and just seemed to enjoy his last time on the court as a player.  What really made it special is that it was all done in front of Matt and Allison (Sammy did not know they would be there) and the best fans in the world...Uncle Bobby, Auntie Donna, Kyle, Katie and Lauren Duesing...Granpa and Nana Duesing...Auntie Lori, John, Jordan and Julia.  I want to personally thank all of them for their support of Sam during his career.  I will miss the time we spent together going to Chick Fil-A for dinner before the games and the laughs and angst we shared during the seasons.  I look forward to being able to share time with them again while watching their children during their sports endeavors.  I pray that although this chapter is closed,. I will be around for many more to open.  Thanks again everyone and keep praying.

Round 4 over

Tonight I take the last 3 chemo pills for round 4. I'm looking forward to my week off as usual.  I've been asked how many treatments they plan on giving me.  Great question, I asked it the last time I was at the doctor and this is what they told me.  They said they usually use 6 treatments as a starting point.  After 6 they step back, look at the results and make a game plan for more treatments.  The reality is there is no set number of treatments.  I have been lucky enough to be able to handle the maximum dosage of all the drugs they have given me with very little side effects.  I will continue chemo as long as my body will allow it or until I am cancer free, praying for the latter.

Tomorrow I will be reaching into my "sports" bucket list.  The occasion is Sammy's last college basketball game.  It is senior night and Sam will be honored along with the other seniors.  I filled my buckets based on the initial prognosis I was given and Sam's last game was out of the time frame.  Well, so much for that prognosis.  I thank God everyday for everyday he gives me and allowing me to be able to empty my buckets.

Good news

I just got a call from the hospital and they gave me my tumor marker number.    807 !!!!   Now this is the type of news that makes all the treatments seem worth while and proves the power of prayer really works!!

Today was Lab day

I had blood work done today and it turned out to be very uneventful.  My numbers were all very close to what they were last time.  The only problem was that my platelet count went down.  This is something they say is normal during a chemo cycle and we will watch it during my week off.  I do not have the tumor marker number yet but when I get it I will post it.  Sorry for the boring post, hopefully the tumor marker will brighten up the info with a really low number!!

Keep moving forward

As I watch the news today I cannot sit back any longer without screaming, "Stop blaming other people for your problems!!" We have become a society of not taking responsibility for our actions and in my opinion this is causing us to stagnate as a nation.  I feel our lives are a series of obstacles that we must overcome in order to move on and succeed.  When we blame everyone and everything else for our obstacles, we have a tendency to wait for these obstacles to be taken care of for us because they are "not my fault".  There are to many people waiting for their problems to be taken care of by someone else.  Take responsibility for your own lives and move forward.  We have to stop living in a 20/20 hindsight world.  Stop looking for who's to blame for the past and do something yourself to make a difference in the future.  Why do I have cancer? Who's to blame? Who should pay for my situation?  If these are the questions I become obsessed with, I will miss out on all the wonderful events still to come in my future.  I realize there are times when outside sources cause harm and it's no fault of your own.  Fine, take care of it and move on. I believe God wants us to help each other get over the obstacles in our lives and move on to greater things.  Look around and recognize the things that will make a positive difference in your life.  It may not be easy but as I said before it's how you deal with your obstacles that will define your life.  Look ahead and keep praying!

Happy Birthday Sammy !!

It was 23 years ago today, at 11:04 am, that we welcomed our youngest son Sam into the world.  It didn't start out to well.  Sam spent the first 4 weeks of his life in the ICU at St Josephs hospital due to breathing problems.  This was very difficult for us because we felt we had been there before with our son Andrew.(see previous post,"first a little history")  We were assured this was not the same and Sam would be fine.  This would not be the last time someone would tell us how they felt about Sam's future. The nurses all seemed to go out of their way to tell us how they felt about Sam.  Comments like, " I don't know what it is but he's going to be special" were the typical comments.  Those comments continued throughout his life.  Sam has always been seen as a very loving and caring person.  He has a great outlook on his future and the future of others.  He is a great example of what hard work and perseverance can do to enhance your life.  From day one Sam has been a fighter, nothing came easy, he has always had to work to come out on or near the top and he's done it with a positive attitude. His outlook has inspired many and I know he will continue to inspire his students when he begins his teaching and coaching career. Being around for his birthday was one of my goals.  I thank God for letting me enjoy this day!  Happy Birthday Sam,  WE LOVE YOU!!

Public Service Announcement

I thought I would use this blog to remind you of a great opportunity to show your friends and loved ones how you feel about them.  Yes, Valentines Day is tomorrow.  If you already have something for that super special someone great job but, don't forget the other special people in your life.  I remember when I was in grade school we all gave each other a small Valentine card.  It was always a fun day because it gave everyone a feeling of friendship.  Now is the time to do the same for people we care about.  It does not require a gift, just give a smile and a sincere "Happy Valentines Day, thanks for being a good son, daughter, friend ect.".  If you have been going through tough times use tomorrow as a new start and put a positive spin on your situation by making others feel good through your positive actions.  For all of you who have been supporting me through my illness with your thoughts and prayers I wish you a Happy Vaentines Day and say thank you for everything.  God bless you all!

Update for day 2 of round 4

Just a quick update.  As usual the first 3-4 days after an injection are my toughest days.  This one is no different.  I feel fatigued all day long.  When I say fatigued I don't mean tired like take a nap tired, I mean I feel like I just ran 10 miles and my body is beat.  The good news is if that's all I have to worry about I'm pretty lucky.  The other side effect, cold aversion, is something else I have to live with.  I really can't wait until spring so I can at least go outside.  This lasts around 5-7 days where I can't go outside without really bundling up during this cold weather.  The warmer weather will be a blessing.  I have been given a 10 day break from hospital and doctor visits during this round.  The only reason I would have to go in would be for a problem and I don't foresee anything going haywire.  Everyday I thank the Lord for allowing me to handle this treatment as well as I have been.  It has all been made possible by prayer and positive thoughts.  Thank you and God Bless all of you.

Round 4 begins

I just got home from the hospital after 6 hours in the "Chemo Suites".  The injections went well with no complications. They are still concerned about my platelet count but we pressed on.  The RN, Jess, was fantastic.  She had a great sense of humor and was on top of everything I needed.  Once again Vic, Lori and I were laughing and joking around.  Jess said she wished she could stay in the room all day.  I think the nurses in the oncology wing don't get a lot of opportunity to laugh with patients.  God bless them all!
 I feel a little more beat up with each treatment so I have to stay ahead of any side effects.  Fatigue, nausea and pain are only a nap or a pill away from relief.  I'm going to take a nap now because I'm a little more tired than usual. Keep praying and thinking good thoughts.....It's working!!!!!

PS- Say a prayer for Sammy's teammate, Jordan.  He is having surgery on his knee today and he has a lot more basketball to play in the future.

Good numbers and bad numbers

I got some good news and some disappointing news today.  The disappointing news was that my platelet count was very low again.  This has caused the Doctor to put off the use of Avastin in my next chemo treatment.  I was hoping we could use this new treatment during this next round but everything has to be perfect due to the dangerous side effects. The good news is that my numbers continue to drop.  My liver function is strong and the tumor marker, the number that signifies how much tumor involvement you have, is now below 1000.  For a little perspective, a normal tumor marker is 0-2.  My original number was around 3000.  Having the number under 1000 means the treatment is working. I will be starting round 4 tomorrow at 8am.  We decided that even though my platelet count is low we will go with the same treatment we used in the first three rounds.  The Dr said we will continue with the highest possible dose as long as my body can handle it.  Keep the prayers coming and the numbers will continue to drop. Thanks!!

Ramzi come home!

Who's Ramzi you ask?  For those of you who don't know,  he is our dog and he has been home with me for the last 4 days.  Let me explain why this is important with a little history.  We adopted Ramzi last January as a rescue puppy.  He is a boxer/english bulldog mix.  His boxer traits are the stronger of the two and he is 100% energy.  Unfortunately, this is the reason we had to find a foster home while I was getting treatment.  He was just to hyper to be around me after the surgery.  Also, one of the side affects of my chemo is a cold aversion, I can't be around anything cold.  I was unable to let the dog outside because of the weather.  This is when Nana and Grandpa came to the rescue and took Ramzi in.  I can't thank them enough for this sacrifice, he is a handful.  My cold aversion lasts about 10 days after the injection and my full treatment lasts 14 days.  After that I can get my dog back, if I feel up to it.  Well, this time he has been wonderful.  I believe he knows I am sick and has been very calm.  Having him around has been a great help for me since I've been spending most of my days alone.  I start my treatment again tomorrow and Ramzi has to go back to the "Spa"(they take such good care of him).  I will visit him during the next 2 weeks and look forward to having him back.  Does God give you what you need during hard times?  Absolutely, he gave me Ramzi.  What has God given you to help you through hard times?  It's there just look around.

Super Bowl Sunday 2012

This is another milestone for me.  When I was initially diagnosed back in November, the prognosis for my survival was given in months based on the number of tumors in my liver.  This got me thinking of things I was going to miss.  As most of you know sports has played a large part in our family make up.  We have been involved in one type of sport every year for the past 25 years and with Matt playing in the NFL and Sam playing college basketball the sports influence lives on.  I bring this up because early on in my recovery I made the decision to have a few mental bucket lists.  One of these is my "Sports Bucket".  I have placed numerous things in this bucket and being around for this Super Bowl was one of them.  The good news is, the initial prognosis is wrong and so far it looks like I'll be here for awhile but, I am still  putting the major sports championships in my Sports Bucket.  Future Super Bowls, March Madness basketball and World Series will be something I look forward too like never before.  There are other things in the sports bucket that hit a little closer to home and I will talk about them during later posts. For now I am blessed to watch this years Super Bowl and look forward to many more.  Go Pack( I had to say it.)  I meant GO ___________________, you fill in the blank.

Round 3.....Done!

Took my last 3 chemo pills for round 3 last night.  This round went well with no real problems.  With each chemo round I feel like I am getting a little more beat up but, that is all part of the program.  I realize I have to put up with some "discomfort" in order to beat this thing.  I now start my week off and I will use it to recharge my batteries. My next appointment for blood work comes Wednesday and round 4 starts on Thursday.  I'll certainly enjoy the time off!!

Are You Happy?

I was watching the news today and they had a story about a poll that asked the question "Are you Happy with your life?" Surprisingly enough even with today's economic turmoil 60% of the people said they were happy.  Now, only 20% said real happy and 40% said mostly happy but as the reporter said happy was happy.  This got me thinking....Am I happy?  The answer is yes. I realize I could very easily say I wasn't happy due to my circumstances and I would be totally justified doing it but, that would not be true.  When I think about having a happy life I think about the entire body of work, not just the last two months. There is an old saying "If you want to be happy for an hour, take a nap......for a day, go fishing.......for a year, inherit some money .......for life, help someone else." I have tried to be helpful whenever I could be, so that must be why I feel happy with my life.  How do you feel about your happiness?  If you are not happy, do something for someone else.  It can be for your wife, husband or the kids.  It doesn't have to be an earth shattering event, just do something.  Help with homework or a school project.  Teach something you know to someone who wants to know.  Everyday do something for someone even if just making them smile.  You will be happier!!