Not late, just following directions

 Sometimes it is important to follow directions in order to keep someone happy.  In this case it is my oldest son.  When I say oldest I really mean it.  Oldest!  I usually post a birthday greeting on the day of the actual birthday but Matt wanted to keep this birthday on the QT.  His new work associates can find out later.  Well here it is,  HAPPY 31ST BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY!  I hope all went well and the traditional birthday week will continue to be enjoyable.  I love you.  Dad

What's going on?

Quick update as I start my 7th week on hospice.  My nurses have all given me good scores regarding my vital signs so my heart and lungs are keeping pace.  Unfortunately, my liver and kidneys along with the pain are not doing as well.  I can definitely tell my system is getting worse due to the fact I am always tired.  According to the nurses, the combination of increased fatigue and pain will continue until the end, not good. I had another good week from the standpoint of being able to get around.  My major trip of the week was being able to fulfill a promise I made to my oldest grand daughter.  I promised her that I would get her ears pierced for her 5th birthday and that I would be there for the piercing.  So, on Wednesday, I loaded up my transport chair and we headed for the mall.  Allison, Caroline, Owen and Vic were in the audience also.  We picked out some beautiful butterfly earrings and the process began.  I have to give Lillian a ton of credit because after the first one you know all the, "Don't worry, it won't hurt", is all a bunch of #%$^&*#. (fill in the blanks) That second one was going to hurt as much as the first and she still did it anyway. Happy Birthday Lil's, Papa Charlie loves you. Major Mission accomplished and not a moment too soon.  It was decided that Al and the kids had to get back home to Baltimore.  I'm sad to say they are now back home but I understand they had to get back to their lives.  Lillian needed to get organized for school, Caroline needed to get organized for her activities and Owen needed to get organized for more growing and living life in general.  I was blessed being able to have them with me for almost one month.  I was actually allowed to see them grow up, it was great.  It was funny when the kids and Al came over while we were getting a visit from my hospice nurse.  As we were sitting in the living room discussing my case, the door flew open and the excitement began.  Caroline was a bit crabby and was crying.  Lillian ran person to person to say hello with hugs and kisses.  Ramzi starting barking loud and long.  I now had to introduce Allison to the nurse with a little higher volume than we were using before.  The first thing the nurse asked me was, "Does all this bother you?" I laughed and said, "Absolutely not." I told her this was music to my ears and wouldn't have it any other way.  If this is not happening to you, get your family more excited to be together!
The hardest thing I had to do was say good bye to the kids and Allison.  Did I want them here when I pass?  I don't really know.  The more I think about it, the more I'm glad they will not be here.  I want their last memories to be happy ones and we have accomplished that for sure.  God has allowed me to see my grandchildren grow.  He also allowed the kids to bond with Sam and Ali, which was very apparent with how tight they are now.
Every day after the 4-6 weeks I was given by the doctor is supposed to be borrowed time.  Borrowed from who?  The only person who can give you more time on this earth is God.  I've come to the conclusion that if I am going to borrow anything from anybody, it will be time from God.  If He wants to give, I will be more than happy to receive but, when the time comes and the time runs out I'm ready.  Keep Praying!

The day after the Fair

I've starting writing this entry about 3 times now.  I've had to start over because I keep falling asleep.  I guess that is the sign that I had a wonderful day at the State Fair yesterday.  To tell the truth, wonderful is an understatement.  It was everything I dreamed it would be.  Lillian and Caroline were wide eyed and full of energy from the time we got there until the time we left.  The rest of the gang included Allison, Vic and Sam.  We missed Owen who was at home with a sitter and Ali who had to work.  Our plan was to see a few animals, grab some dinner and be out in a couple hours.  I thought this would be a good plan for me and the girls based on my energy level and their attention spans for looking at cows rear ends and unlimited fried anything.  Boy was I wrong! Once we got there, we were all energized.  Thanks Sammy for pushing me around in my transport chair, I could not have done the fair without it.  The girls walked through the cattle barn and loved seeing the cows up close.  They especially loved the fact that the cows had to take baths. Then we went looking for the horses.  The horses are my favorite animal at the fair and I hoped they were available to see.  I knew the girls would love to see the huge draft horses.  We walked for quite awhile until we found the horses and it was worth the walk because we got to see them up close.  The exhibitioner had pulled the horses out of their stalls to get them ready for the 6pm wagon pulling show.  They are huge.  We got to see them get washed and the girls loved that the horses had their hair braided.  What's next, who's hungry, what do you want to eat?  We were ready to go.  We decided to get something to eat and then we were going to see Katie Duesing who was working the trampoline ride.  We eventually found it and Lillian got harnessed up.  She jumped around a little and then found her stride.  With Katie's help Lillian starting going high enough to try a flip, and man did she flip.  She flipped forward and she flipped backwards.  She flipped more than I thought she ever could.  I think we have an athlete on our hands.  We started to leave and go onto our next adventure when Papa Charlie saw the pony rides.  I have to see my grand children on the pony rides before I go.  Both girls said yes so we paid, got them on the ponies and we were ready to go.  Or so we thought.  Caroline decided she didn't want to go without Nana.  So, in order to alleviate an eruption, Nana stepped up and walked next to the pony.  All it took was one time around and Caroline was fine but, Nana stayed walking with her the whole ride anyway.  Nana did find out the reason the workers wear boots instead of flip-flops and we also learned it all cleans off.  Time for more fun, "Let's go on the slide Sammy.  You have to go on it too Nana".  Their wish was my command.  Where is the slide?  After more walking we found it, got our burlap, climbed the stairs and Sam, Nana, Lils and Caroline flew like birds and went down the big yellow monster.  "Can we do it again, can we do it again?"was all I heard.  Just like any good Papa I answered with a loud, "let's get something to eat and come back later, ok?"  We all agreed and started the trek once again for food.  Burgers from the cattleman's grill, roasted corn, Millies Italian sausage or dessert.  What do we get?  We got them all!  After a short rest we decided to go back to the trampoline and Lillian showed her stuff again. After that we all looked at each other and started to think we were done.  I asked the girls and a past promise Papa made was brought to my attention.  The big yellow slide was to be done one more time and this time with a grand daughter's request.  Lillian sat in my lap and asked "Papa could you go with me down the slide?"  I couldn't say no.  I looked at the long run of stairs and told myself just take your time and you will never regret doing it.  I was right, that was the best slide ride I had ever taken in my life.  Whew, let's go home.  CREAM PUFF!!  We almost forgot the cream puffs.  Immediately Sam asked where is the cream puff place.  Unfortunately, I had to tell him he only has to push me across the entire fairgrounds to get there.  No complaints from anyone and we got our dessert.  Now it is time to leave.  All we have to do is walk from the back of the grounds to the front where we parked.  We were almost to the parking lot when Lillian noticed she had not gone on any rides like the Ferris wheel or roller coaster.  Were we lucky that we had to walk right through the mid-way to get to the car.  "12 tickets please " said Allison as she told the girls that they will be allowed 2 rides and we are done.  Ride #1 spinning tea cups, check.  Ride #2 roller coaster , check.  Both Lillian and Caroline had experienced the WI State Fair and I got to do it with them.  Thank God!  Thank God! Thank God!  I am paying physically today for my actions yesterday but, I can also re-live the experience mentally forever.  Keep praying.