Future treatments????

I'm sure you know by now that my spleen surgery has caused me more hardship than expected.  The recovery has been very difficult.  The 15 months of chemo has caused my recuperative ability to be compromised more than we all thought.  Over the past three weeks I fell into a cycle of taking meds for pain which caused digestive problems which caused lower back pain which caused me to take more pain meds.  This cycle has been debilitating.  I was doing nothing other than trying to control pain.  This cycle has caused me to think long and hard regarding future treatment.  After many conversations with family I had decided that my remaining time will not be spent chasing relief from my treatments.  I want to spend my final stages of life enjoying life.  If the side effects of my treatment are debilitating, I will not continue treatment.  This decision was passed along to my nurse, who passed it to my oncologist.  The doctor immediately set up an appointment to discuss my decision. That appointment took place yesterday and this is what we decided to do.
My appointment started as usual.  They took 3 vials of blood and sent it out to the lab.  I am still fighting the lower back pain and one of the things that causes it to be worse is stress.  Needless to say I was stressed.  I was about to tell my doctor that I decided to stop treatment.  My pain was getting worse as I waited.  By the time I got into the exam room, I was not able to sit or stand.  I had to ask for a dose of pain medication if I was going to continue.  The nurse complied and I started feeling some relief.  I thought to myself, "this is what I'm talking about.  I don't want to be a slave to pain and pain meds that are a result of treatment."  When the doctor came in he immediately asked for me to explain what's going on in my head.  He assured both Vic and I that he cannot and will not force any type of treatment on us.  He was willing to do whatever we decided.  He did not agree with the decision to quit treatment and he actually seemed angry.  He reminded us that the main reason for the limited options of treatments was based on my low platelets.  The spleen surgery solved that problem and has opened up our options.  He has a plan that would take advantage of my high platelet count with minimal side effects.  I told him I was willing to try as long as the treatment was not debilitating.  The first thing we are going to do is have another PET scan so we can see what kind of tumor growth has occurred since I have been off treatment.  This will happen early next week.  It's really very simple.  If I can tolerate the treatment I'll continue, if the treatment effects are debilitating I will stop.  It all comes down to quality of life for me and my family.  My focus has to be on creating meaningful  happy memories with my friends and family.  My cancer is terminal.  There will be a time when the disease takes over my life.  I just don't want it to take over earlier then it has to.  Keep praying.