A couple days into round 8

So far round 8 has been pretty normal.  I feel like I have felt with all the other treatments, a little tired and fatigued.  The only real difference is the frequency of the infusions with the new medication being injected every week as opposed to every 3 weeks with the old stuff.  Oh yeah, the other difference would be the "rash".  I promised myself that I would not obsess about the rash because of the excellent results the medication had shown after the first treatment.  After all, with the exception of the severe burning and itching, it is really more of a vanity issue than anything.  As a matter of fact, I'm reminded on a daily basis that how I look is all in the eyes of the beholder.  My neighbor said I look fine, just a little burned.  My nurse, when asked if the rash will get worse with each treatment, turned to me and said, "Do you think it can get much worse?" And then there is Vic, who lovingly tells me everyday that it looks better and to hang in there.  Now, the medications I was given to ease the symptoms of the rash are slowly showing some promise.  This made me feel good until I was told that when I take this medicine I have to stay out of the sun.  The nurse actually told me it would be best if I just stayed indoors during the day.  It's hard enough to battle cancer as a human, but now they want me to do it as a vampire!

Whew, I feel better now.  I guess I just needed to vent a little.  I know the rash has been clinically proven to be a sign that the medication is working.  My last numbers proved that point.  I also went back and read one of my old posts that dealt with understanding God's will.  I know we do not realize why certain things happen now but, we will.  God will always make clear to us why things have happened when we are ready to accept it.  It may not be immediate, as a matter of fact, it may not be while we are on this earth.   I don't think there is anything wrong with questioning or complaining once in awhile.  After all it is human nature to do so and we are still human.  We just have to be ready to accept God's answer if we ask for it. So when I ask, "Why are the side effects from cancer medicines so bad, isn't the disease bad enough?", I know the answer will make sense and it's that belief that keeps me going.