Friday, October 5, 2012
Be patient.....stay positive
Sorry I haven't bloggged for a while. It has been very difficult for me to open up and write about how I am really feeling at this time. I have to admit that my last PET scan results took the wind out of my sails. Hearing the doctor say that the tumor activity has increased was difficult to accept. I have been on chemotherapy for 10 months so far. The side effects of this treatment has not been pleasant, but I have always been able to justify the bad with the good results I have been getting. I'm not getting these good results anymore. For the first time I feel as if I am not winning. I had my weekly chemo infusion and blood work today. The numbers are heading in the wrong direction. My platelets are lower and my tumor marker went up 2 points. It has now been approximately 1 1/2 months that my numbers have been hovering with no improvement. I'm getting frustrated and I'm finding it harder to stay patient and positive. Then it hit me! As I am writing this blog I am feeling better. I guess I needed to get some negative feelings out of my system. I've said it before, I know this will be a marathon and not a sprint. I think it is time for me to get my second wind and that is what I will pray for...A strong and positive second wind.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
As it happens, today is the Twin Cities marathon. That and your post made me think of the one and only time I ran a marathon 23 years ago. It was one of the hardest things I've done physically and mentally. And your marathon has been considerably harder. You were thrown into it without training or preparation. You don't know the course -- where the hills are, where the flat stretches are when you can catch your breath. You can only see what you've run past. Yet you grab some water and keep moving forward. You're not running this marathon alone. We're all with you every step of the way, cheering you on. We'll be your second wind and your third and however many you need to see what's around the next bend.
ReplyDeleteChuck, I continue to pray for your situation and hope that healing is what is in store for you. God sure has His ways of doing things that we will never understand. Your blog has been a great place to refer someone who needs to read first hand from someone reflecting as he goes in the battle with this condition. I have a brother-in-law who has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and he has been through radiation and 2 bouts with chemo. Not sure where he is at spiritually but he is open to listening. Now we are sharing spiritual beliefs and that hope of knowing what's next although not wanting to leave here yet is also a great hope. I will continue to ask for your situation to better itself knowing all of this is bigger than us. I again admire your willingness to fight to stay positive and reflective while you are dealing with this health situation. If I could stop by and instantly rid you of this health challenge I would. Just know I am in your court and ask me if there is anything you think I can do for you. I am out and about a bit although lately I have switched my cold contacting visits to setting appointments but I do mix things up. In prayer for you....j.scott
ReplyDelete